Sochta Hoon Ke Wo Kitne Masoom They

Jaane wale humari mehfil se chand taro ko sath leta ja
Hum khizan se nibaah kar lenge too baharo ko sath leta ja

Uske nazdeek gum-e-tark-e-wafa kuch bhee nahi
Mutmayin aisi hai wo jaise huwa kuch bhee nahi

Ab to hatho se bhi lakeere bhi miti jaati hai
Usko khokar to mere paas raha kuch bhee nahi
Kal bichrda hai to fir ehd-e-wafa soch ke bandh abhi
Agaaz-e-muhabbat hai gya kuch bhi nahi
Mai to is waste chup hoon ke tamsha na bane
Tu samjhti hai mujhe tujhse gila kuch bhee nahi

Aaj roothey huwe saajan ko bohat yad kiya
Apne ujde huwe gulshan ko bohat yaad kiya

Sochta hoon ke wo kitne maasoom they
Kya se kya ho gaye dekhte dekhte


Maine pathar se jinko banaya sanam
Wo khuda ho gaye dekhte dekhte
Jin Pathro Ko Humne Ata Ki Thee dhadkne
Wo bolne lage to humeen par baras pade ...dekho ji
Hashar hai wahshat-e-dil ki awargi
Humse poocho muhabbat ki diwangi
Jo pata puchte they kisi ka kabhi
Lapata ho gaye dekhte dekhte


Sochta Hoon Ke Wo Kitne Masoom They

Drought

As I stand below the shower of my hotel with water soaking my skin I am reminded of the smile with which one of the retailers in one of the districts in my area told me about how he is buying water to have bath. And then flashes of women and young men clambering around a tap in some other district for water come across my eyes. And then, the smile of the driver of my car from another district of the same area describing how the government has banned boring in his village. The water refreshes me but somehow does not clean.

Jeevan Saathi Blues-2

So I just got to know that I used to belong to the Peter Pan generation. Well, I never did, but I guess the world presumed me to be. I told you that in my last post. And also that finally I had told my parents to fulfill their dream of finding a girl for me. I remember the shining eyes of my mother and the confidence that my father oozed on me giving them an indifferent shrug to their incessant demand."Beta! ab to tum settle bhi ho gaye! Ab to saadi kar hi lo", " Beta! agar tumhe koi ladki pasand hai to batlaye do, hum bhi utne roodhiwaadi nahin hain" and all that with my mom putting "Beta! koi problem to nahi hai na tumhe" between every sentence. I think she wanted to ask me whether I am gay. Its embarrassing answering such questions. I mean ...  yeah! But..... anyhow!

So the hunt has started. Ever seen those talent hunt serials where judges shortlist candidates on the basis of photographs? Yeah! that is exactly what I was asked to do. Now, there is this fallacy in the process.I mean being from IT, an amateur photographer and a self-proclaimed ace in Photoshop, I know what the problem is. Its not ' what you see is what you get'. There needs to be a regulatory authority on this process as well, like those in the advertising industry of food products where deep angles and slow motion is permitted, but no enhancements. Unfortunately there is none.

But that is not what made me write this post. What made me write this post is that the shortlisting process in itself has become excruciating. I mean when the age of the girls being introduced is told to me, my balls feel the chill. All of them are like 5-6 years younger to me. 21-22. I used to be like a grandfather to such tenth class girls 6 years ago in my engineering final year. And even though a few of those tenth-ies were hot, a self-respecting college-goer knows his boundaries.

I guess that could have been because of my youth and honor. At that time. I tried to still maintain it, youth and honor, trust me my friend, but when you are single and 27 and 'arranging' for your marriage, you need to be 'mature'. As I said in my last post, 22-25 was the time when girls are looking for getting married. The unfortunate part is they look around only in their peer group or someone they know. Now, my parents know that 6 years is too much of a difference, but they do not want a girl who is 26 and who might, might is the word, play me. If you do not understand the last sentence, good for you bro. If you do, either you are intelligent and mature, congratulations for that, or have gotten 'played' before. Consolations for the rest of your second inning in that case brother.

So then the oldest age that may settle down with me is 21-22. I don't think they would be realizing what actually is happening to them. "My dad said so" might be what that poor girl be thinking. Not without thought was it said," ignorance is bliss". And so they would fall in 'love'. Or so it is presumed.

Amen!

Jeevan Saathi Blues

So I am 27. My hairline is progressively receding with every orbit of the moon around me. The way tides do. Just that they grow as well. Tides and the moon remind me of beaches. I always dreamt of lying on a beach on a full moon lit night. With someone as soulful as the voice of Loius Armstrong singing 'What a wonderful world'. That reminds me that I have already shortlisted 'Kikli Kaler di' and  ''Navrai Majhi'' as two songs I would play during my reception. And I have always dreamt of coming on a white horse in my baraat. That would be my day. And even though I come from a very conservative eastern UP family, I would like the Punjabi dhinchak sets for my marriage. Oh and that 'Rum Rum ..Whiskey'song, I would play that also.

What a wonderful world! Bullshit. The truth is that the hairline is receding. And, I am 27. The potbelly is growing and growing with every night being consumed into 2 bottles of beer. Followed by the routine porn clips. Being in a sales job has its fair share of lonely nights which can be filled only by such frivolous conduct. I despise that, being frivolous at this age. Especially when the porn collection is the same old taken from my MBA campus 2 years ago. The internet sometimes comes to the rescue but I somehow end up on the same old porn clips. My IT undergraduate friends attribute my rather poor googling to some of the skills that I picked up during my MBA. But trust me, it gets really weird when there is no internet connectivity in a Goddamn forsaken place fantasizing on the same old porn clip, again.

I have realized that the best time to get into a relationship is the age of 23-26 for men. And not the kinds of relationship shown in 'Student of the Year', the heroine of which made me feel way way older than I really am, but the martrimonial ones. For women that age is 22- 25. That is the age when they seek partners whom they can settle with. I missed that age. That golden opportunity when the 'bull' can run the market. Unfortunately, I was busy cracking CAT to read the theory of markets by Hull during those days. That only makes me realize now that my options expired a long time ago and the futures are in dubious condition. The exotic bond that I was a few years ago am unfortunately junk now.

And so I, as the sweet good well-behaved Indian son pleased my parents when I accepted their request of arranging for my marriage. I know its like playing all hands blind in 'teen patti'  or rather 'once sold, no exchange no refund' but well ....

My parents are happy. At least they are getting busy, now that all their responsibilities are over. I am happy for them. I don't know about myself though. I somehow, whenever I think of my marriage, tend to drift to GOW's Ramadhir Singh telling his son, ' Beta! Tumse na ho payega' ....... The CAT, in someways made a dodo of me!