The life of a Eunuch

My name is Chandni. I am 25. I was born a boy , I was discovered a eunuch.
My father is a professor at a degree college in Lakheempur , Uttar Pradesh.
I was the first baby of our house. I was 11 and in the 7th standard of the Kendriya Vidyalaya, when I was left in the streets of Delhi by my father.
A police report was filed in the Lakheempur police station about me going missing. It is still open.

I begged for 3 years at the Canought Place inner circle with a group of beggars. Then my appearance gave away my sexuality. I was ridiculed of my being , of my existence by the fellow beggars. They teased me by clapping their hands in front of my face. Some even kicked my genitals. Then , one day they told me to get lost with my 'kind' of people.

I went to Rajghat , to beg. Nobody gave me alms. They stared at my face , as if I was some alien. The women with their children would scamper away when I asked them for some left-over food.
They did not even let me touch their feet. They thought 'it' might be contagious.
I used to cry at night about the sins I would have commited in my past life and the punishment God had given me.
The 500 rupees that I had saved in the past 3 years were about to be finished when the Rajghat group of eunuchs came to my rescue.
They were traveling in the Ambassador when they spotted me there.
The head of the group was Rajni. She took me to a building in the Mandavali area. I did not like Rajni , nor Shanno or Chameli. I was told to learn it from Rajni , the way to dance , to clap , to play the Dholak.
I was even told the way to fend off the ones who 'acted smart' , all the rebukes.
I did not like it. Initially , I was even reluctant to do it. Then one day when I was travelling alone in a local train , the whole compartment shooed me away. Ladies raised their voices. Children cried.3 men came and one of them spit on my feet. That day I rebuked as bad as I could , till the time I could get down at the next station. That evening I cried.
From the next day on , I was a eunuch.
My first independant assignment was on the occasion of house warming. I was 22 then. I started negotiating at 5000 rupees , it came down to 500. I am a poor bargainer. I give into emotions of the old, their eyes seem too innocent. I do not like dealing with 'housewifes', most of them. They make a ruckus about us blessing them , they treat us like filth. I do not understand , when both the Pandit and we are blessing them , in our own ways; well , ours is more physical but that is altogether a different issue. I like doing the rituals with ata and haldi and chawal. It gives me a sense of purity , like I was the same Pandit , like I was also deserving of the same importance and reverence as him.I wish people showed us the same obiesance as him.I wish we too had a cornshell and people would fold their hands in respect , and we would tie the thread in their hands , and they would touch our feet. Ha! romanticism.
In reality , even a genuine smile is what sometimes I crave for.