EVERYONE’S A DOG….OR A CHICKEN

The discussion of the need of a gym in my life has crept-in in all the conversations that I have with my family. Sometimes recurring seven or eight times a day when I talk about finding myself a girlfriend ( kindly note how important the search is to me that I am talking 7-8 times about it in a day …. And that too to my family … and yes…forgive me if the word ‘finding’ is offensive …. Yeah … I am a feminist … if that lets me gain some brownie points) and the only roadblock I can identify that in so many years of my existence why I haven’t been able to do so is the lack of a Sunny Deol body.
I don’t look that bad … just to keep everything straight .Except for the unasked potbelly that I get after every meal of the day for a few hours, the rest of the time I am quite lean to look at. My sister tells me that that’s like the ‘in – thing’ but I believe it is only to keep my spirits high. Thankfully she understands the need to do that. For a 21 year old guy who has been written off by all the girls he has met as just another sweet and fun guy (well …. I like them considering me that, but not just just that …. Come on…) it can be pretty hard to hit the gym. How can one let the balance sheet of exercise be so skewed that except for getting a hulk-kind of body, you get no other benefits, after shelling about 15 KFC buckets at Talwalkars each month.
According to some experiments conducted in the wild wild west, a dog needs daily snacks to learn a newer trick or to forget a bad habit, little electric shocks to tell him to mend his ways in a course of a month (the nature of the experiment confirms that it was indeed conducted in the west where they are so wild not to understand such an intuitive thing). The results of the same experiment are also employed in organizations where employees are given smaller tasks and are rewarded with every new trick(read technology in the IT space) that they learn ( Dear Tom , Dick and Harry …. Yes! Your job is no different than Tommy, Cherry or Goldie learning their own set of tricks.)
And so even I am in the search of my mentor (this is much better a word. I wanted to use ‘master ‘but well that would have given my to-be girlfriend a wrong idea. I am not looking for a client-server configuration , I want our relationship to be on the P2P pattern … well , just to make myself clear ; and then people ask me how I am that optimistic. And yeah! I can sometimes be that geeky … just in case that helps my profile in your list of prospective candidates , hoping that I am there) , who would give me the snacks( :P ….) when I do my trick right( go to the gym ) and give me electric shocks ( well , don’t take that literally ) when I act bad ( skip the gym). Constant appreciation is needed.
But Alas! This is the same viscous circle, who would come first in my life, the girl or the gym. The chicken or the egg question needs to be answered…..just to draw an analogy. But in reality, I am the chicken …. who is enjoying his KFC.( better get rescued by the beautiful girls of PETA before the Kernel fries me up.)